Newsletter | 25 February 2019
The Good Worker Guide to Being Your Bestest Self

How to escape a boring conversation.

Ah, here you are at another social gathering.

You’ve freshened your breath, coiffed your hair, and you’re ready to mix and mingle!

While you’re at the snack table loading up on free cheese, a fellow beside you makes a joke about the brie. But twenty minutes later, you’re nodding along to an endless dissertation on the travails of his favorite sports franchise. Can’t he tell this is completely one-sided?!

If a conversation is like a dance, this one would be taking place in a middle school cafeteria

Here are a few quick ways to escape from a boring conversation:

1. The drink dodge.

The moment there is a pause in the conversation, raise your empty glass and declare that you need a refill. Glass still full? Well, bottom’s up and make a beeline for the bar! Even if they follow you, at least more alcohol will be close at hand.

2. Rope-a-dope.

Keep your eyes peeled and grab the first unsuspecting sucker who walks by. Pull them into the conversational void with an open-ended question and while they’re still finding their footing, silently slip away. Warning: This is best reserved for strangers as it may destroy even the firmest of friendships.

3. Turn the tables.

Be even more boring than they are. While I’m sure it’s near impossible to suppress your own naturally radiating charisma, if you can muster the effort to be less sensational, your interlocutor may be inclined to seek a hasty exit themselves. Suggested topics include seasonal allergies, weather patterns, or the route you took to the party.

4. The direct approach.

If all else fails, drop everything, look them in the eye, shake their hand and say thank you for your time. Then simply leave the party and never come back.

Whichever path you choose, remember, we’ve all been on both sides of a boring conversation. Some chats just aren’t the right fit and it’s generally better to move on than to keep everyone locked in a tepid tête-à-tête.

Speaking of which, I could use another drink. It was nice to see you!

Each week, we share funny tips for being your very bestest self in this mixed-up modern world of ours. Hot dog!

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